My Subconscious Is Driving Me Home

by Quiet of The Insufficient

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04:27
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credits

released December 1, 2012

Quiet, Umbra, Raro, Vin, Cody, The Wrecking Crew

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Quiet of The Insufficient Windham, Connecticut

Chimmychongas all day... and night

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Track Name: Intricate Design
the difference between a crazy person and a normal one
is perseverance passion in their words and which direction that they run
when faced with danger
eye to eye
im no stranger to living a lie
iv climbed higher than u can fly and i havent even spread my wings yet
iv seen things from perspectives u couldnt wrap ur level headed brain around
iv invented angles that would knock ur cool and collected feet right off the ground
your pulse beats steadily
mines erratic, see
your thought are constant but heavy
and mine occur sporadically
at a glance my sentences might seem random but they have meaning
for instance this next sentence might be gibberish to you but mean everything to me
porcelain walls leaves changing in the fall sunlit life medicine innocent eyes icicles brain waves grass stains sunsets cracks in the path and space between train tracks
listen, time ticking by missing life wishing i
could live a normal life without slipping in the piles of mud that make up my mind
the over packed stuffing bulging at the seams with my thought of everything and nothing combined
my eyes are bullet proof glass
windows into the zoo
holding back the circus act protecting those who intend to intrude
all the cards are stacked but who knows who will win or lose
im an unlit match
strike me wrong and ill burn you
breathe deep
soak it in
kneeling in the leaves, broken sticks
we see open skin
now let go and leap from the bridge
when i speak all i can do is hope
that the next work lays down flush with the last set of words that i spoke
to form a string of verbs and nouns that make some kind of sense
because sometimes my brain fails to distinguish what i meant and what i said
from each other and i try to unclutter my mind but sometimes conversation's just too sudden and my thoughts and my mind dont form a straight line, fumble and i stutter but escape just in time
bleeding
skin
seeping in
breathing
live
reaching heaven
hand, time, sand, line, drawn, i, bleed, cry
and everything i thought were signs grew legs and walked on the mask that i hide behind
cracked and broken its falling off
snapped and hoping i can hold it up
peeling off peering past the blood
would love to climb out iv stalled enough
centrifugal force is pushing me towards the outside and im alone
im supporting the core i am the floor walk on me ill implode
(collapse)
trap everything iv ever loved under the pieces that u broke
hoping that my world explodes because in here time moves slow
waiting at the bottom of a cup for you
dead brain cells autumn yourself and the truth
close your eyes
thats not a picture of a nightmare
its a perfected reflection of you
my throat is closing
the weight is stacked on my back my faces are flushed
and my shoulders are folding
hand in hand with my better half
i am dying
my mind is trying
to climb outside my skin to get a good grip and de-spine me
but its not gonna happen and im glad that im back again
even if just for the moment
ill have the last laugh dragged through the dirt tore my limbs my frame is broken
and i am happy for the first time since i hit the ground so the reason that i drag my feet is because i like where i am right now

-Quiet
Track Name: I Hope So
I Hope So
Written by ~ Quiet ~

Im nothing but a clone
With an inside packed with stuffing and an outside made of stone
When you're a victim of your own and you're falling from home
and all u have left is hope u have 2
choices, you can hit rock bottom, or grab the rope

My feet are leading the way my limbs are disconnected from my
brain and I cant tie the strings back
together to tell my hands to pull myself up out of my grave

The world is a blur, flying by in twirls of black and grey swirls
Theres no sign of a red or a blue or a green or even a dark purple
I watch that blackbird fly thru the window and wonder where he goes
Cant help but notice im the pot of coal at the end of the dark
spectrums rainbow

Everything iv loved has been stolen right from under my nose
and anything iv decided to believe in has
been sold instead of grown
I look all around theres no sound no one seems remotely close
My heads in the clouds if my eyes could leave the ground id know im not alone
When you never learned to see it hard to know where you're supposed to go
Run into the sun or snow visit with the warmth or cold, sink or float
Sometimes if u wanna breathe 1st u need to choke and if u wanna grow u need to break bones
And when u have nothing left but hope, u have more than enough to hold

When time decides to move slow I notice that's when I tend to grow
When the window of opportunity is closed that's when the sun comes to melt the snow
The clouds part over the house the treetops shine and Im short of breath
The bird opens his mouth to shout his lines and I envy those front steps
In order to hold onto hope, I need to learn to let go
That's when the bird forgets how to fly freezes time and learns how to float

And when the wise man closed his eyes to recite every word hes ever spoken
Im gonna grab hope by the throat, and choke it
i was almost home when my legs snapped iv never felt so low
i was so close i can still go
im gonna take the strength from every word i never spoke
im staggering i never shoulda stood up
and it shatters me i never know how much is enough
batter up in the box the ladder will collapse if you dont give
all four legs enough trust

my broken footprints leave a trail to follow in the dirt
hope someone stumbles upon them before theyre swallowed by the
earth and im gone forever
and the last strand keeping me tethered to reality is severed
and when you have nothing left but hope you can give up or
grow
pick your poison flick the syringe and measure

inject and go to sleep

please dont accept me for me

if theres something you need to say open your mouth and scream
if i have one piece of real advice its if you ever get your hands on hope squeeze

iv conquered the dark killed the light tug a war with life my enemy is inside
iv tried iv cried iv lied to loved ones and seen the pain thats trapped in their eyes
and i told myself never again and i molded myself into a better him
then i melted back down into a puddle and i stumbled and i
scraped the bottom of the bin again
fall back to the tracks same old planks back to the bad and the same old train
back to the cracks in my name on the wall i fall i crawl i cant escape my fate

im not a good person and i hate it
i know that im worthless and i cant change it
if i had a purpose id make a picture perfect for a person then
help them live it after i paint it
i can change i know as i age i grow my brain will mold into
who iv always wanted to become
i have enough rope to hold on to hope

i dont know where to go all i have left is hope is that enough
to hold i hope so
i dont wanna let it go iv got it by the throat
im gonna squeeze until it chokes i cant help it im so selfish
im so cold

i need to tighten my grip i need to watch the blood drip
every second it slips its so delicate so fragile so infinite
i think i might be sick every string has been clipped
grab Hope by the lips tell her thank you and deliver her
last...

i dont know where to go all i have left is hope is that enough
to hold i hope so

i dont wanna let it go iv got it by the throat its all iv got
left to hold im so cold

i think i might be sick every string has been clipped
grab Hope by the lips tell her thank you and deliver her last...

kiss

~Quiet~